Life goes on without you
by Lindsay1993
Summary: This is the sequel to my story 'Is there still hope' What if Keni escaped...what if she had an accident...what if she lost her memory...what if...
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone, so this sequel is beginning roughly 4 years after _Is there still hope?_ and Kensi is still missing. Sophia is 7 by now as it is October 2017.  
Hope you like it and a big thank you for all the reviews and allerts :)

* * *

"Kensi bring me some water!"

As she heard this, Kensi stood up from the couch and went into the kitchen to get Mark a glass of water. Since they moved to this place he would let her walk around in the house and in the garden, but she had to wear some kind of bracelet that gave her electric shocks if she went to far away. So she couldn't escape. Not that she had tried, but every time that damn bracelet knocked her out. She went from the kitchen out on the porch where Mark sat.

"Here, your water."

She wanted to turn around and go inside again but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her down beside him. It was a chilly evening and the sun began to settle down.

"I think the time has come that I should tell you why I kidnapped you and did all the things that I did." He didn't look at her just continued to stare straight ahead. Kensi wondered if she had heard him right. All these years that she was his prisoner did she want to know exactly that. Why her? Why Leanne?

"That Detective of yours...He took someone away from me, someone that I loved. So I had to do the same to him. Take someone away he loves. You! I wanted to see him suffer, just like I did all those years ago. "

He became silent. She just sat there, dumbfounded. That was something she would have never guessed. She always thought this was because of her, that she made this guy angry by having brought someone behind bars that was important to him. Or that he took her because he wanted information or something like that. But because of Deeks.

"What about Leanne?"

He didn't answer. And she didn't dare to ask. Her wounds were just healed from her last punishment and she didn't want to risk getting new ones by making him angry.

That night she would lay awake thinking about Deeks and Sophia like she did almost every night. Sophia must be around 6 now. Kensi wondered what Sophia looks like now. And Deeks. She doubted that Deeks would get over her death.

* * *

"Daddy! Come on wake up. You overslept and now I'm late for school."

Sophia continued to shake Deeks out of his sleep.

"I'm coming pumpkin." His reply was muffled by his pillow. "You go and get dressed while I'll take a quick shower."

After that he started to make a quick breakfast for the two of them. They ate in silence, the only sound came from the radio.

"Daddy, I had a dream about Mommy last night. We were in Ops when she came in, but she didn't look like in the photos that we have in our living room. She was thinner and her hair was longer and she was bloddy... but she was with us. Kept saying that she escaped. But that was only a dream. She can't escape heaven right?"

"No honey, she can't. It was only a dream. Heaven is a nice place, she can't be bloody if she there. She's wearing a light summer dress honey, dancing over the clouds. It was a bad dream."

Deeks smiled at his daughter even though all he wanted to do was cry. He still wasn't over Kensi's death and he probably would never be. Sophia asked a lot about her Mommy. But they had happy times. And the team really was a great help.

There was a knock on the door.

"That's Jasmin. Go and get your school bag. "

Deeks opened the door.

"Hey Jas. How are you?"

"Hey Marty. I'm fine, we had a rough morning. But you seem to have one too."

"Yeah we overslept a bit and Sophia obviously had a bad dream about Kensi. Maybe moving to a new house would help her getting over those nightmares..."

Jasmin patted him on the shoulder.

"Let me know what I can do to help her."

"I'm ready! Good bye Daddy." Sophia came running, hugged him and then went after Jasmin who would bring her and Chris to school. Deeks looked after her. She still looked a lot like Kensi, even from behind.

"Oh Kensi, please look after her from above."

* * *

I know this was really short but I'm in the middle of my exams and then there will be the final exams in a month. So I probably won't have time to write another chapter before April or May. But I try.  
Hope you liked it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey there, so I apperently found some time to write ;) **  
**I Hope you remember my characters Jasmin, Daniel and their son Chris. Hope you like this chapter.**

* * *

Kensi arose early the next morning, as she has been for a couple of weeks now. She didn't sleep well. Her night was haunted by either nightmares or dreams of her team, her family. The latter weren't really bad, on the contrary they were good dreams. She liked them but waking up and realizing it only was a dream, that was horrible. She had thought about killing herself more than once after having one of those dreams, but that would mean that she was weak. And she didn't want to be weak, she never has been weak. So she had brushed those thoughts away every time.

So now every morning she did some training. She wanted to get stronger and once she was strong enough she would fight Mark and it would either kill her or she would win. But there was no way in hell she was living this life until she died. She just couldn't do nothing day in and day out for the rest of her life. She took advantage of the trust Mark had in her and would use it against him. He gave her freedom inside the house and in the garden, and he would even leave her alone for a couple of days.

So she would work out without his notice. And maybe it would pay off someday. Hopefully sooner than later. But even if she would win that fight, she would still need to get rid of that bracelet. But that was a problem for afterwards.

After she finished her training, she took a quick shower and started to prepare some breakfast. Maybe he would trust her even more if she didn't fight him or his orders. That's why she decided to be nice to him although that wasn't easy, considering that he was the reason for this hell. But she'd try for Deeks and for Sophia.

"Good morning Kensi."

She swirled around not having heard him entering the kitchen.

"You scared me."

"Sorry didn't mean to."

He sounded honest. That was the confusing thing about him. Some times he would act like nothing was wrong and he cared for her and then other times he would beat the crap out of her and get angry when she just did as much as breathe. He took the bowl of cereals she offered him and sat down at the table.

Kensi sat down on the other side of the table. They ate in silence. It was always quiet around them, they just talked when it was absolutely necessary.

"I'm going to leave for a week. There's enough food in the fridge and shelves. Don't do anything stupid. You know the consequences, don't you?"

"Yes I won't do anything stupid."

He left early the next morning. Kensi didn't hear him leave but she found the note he had left on the table in the kitchen. After breakfast, she immediately started her work out program. She would to that ever day he wasn't home for the next few month.

* * *

"Daddy can I wear this? Do I look nice?"

Sophia stood in front of the mirror in her room with Deeks watching fro the doorway. Today was visiting day in Sophia's class. The parents would visit their children and stay for a couple of hours while the kids would show what they have prepared. He wondered how Sophia would cope with the fact that the other kids would have two parents watching them and she would only have him. He really hoped it didn't threw her back to having nightmares.

"You look nice Soph, don't worry. "

He stepped behind her and kissed the top of her head. She wore her brown wavy hair down just like Kensi did.

"Come on princess lets eat some breakfast."

They went into the kitchen and while Sophia sat down, Deeks made some pancakes.

"So what did you prepare for today pumpkin.?"

He had tried to get to know it several time but she wouldn't tell him. He admired that she didn't slip up but he wanted to know.

"I won't tell you daddy, we're not supposed to tell anyway."

"Come on pumpkin just a tiny hint?"

"No daddy."

He sighed in defeat.

"Alright. I guess I have to wait then."

He looked at his watch and saw that it was time to go.

"Lets get going Sophia. You don't want to be late today, do ya?"

She jumped of her chair and ran over to him, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the front door.

"Come on then daddy. Today is important!"

He laughed at her eagerness.

The closer they got to her school the more nervous she got. They found a parking spot near to Sophia's school.

"I wish mommy was here." "Me too, pumpkin, me too."

Deeks took her hand in his and together they walked to her classroom. It was filled by children and parents and therefore it was very loud.

"Hey Sophia! Come on look what my mom gave me."

Chris shouted excitedly from his place, waving with his hand. Deeks let go of her hand and Sophia ran off. He went to the back of the classroom where Jasmin and Daniel were already waiting for him.  
They talked about stuff just like their children did until the teacher walked in.

"Good morning everyone."

"Good morning Mrs. Fisher." The kids answered in unison.

One after another, the children presented their essays, project or whatever they have prepared. Chris for example prepared a presentation about Germany, the home country of his parents. Then it was Sophia's turn and she stepped in front of the class and began to speak.

"My name is Sophia Mary Deeks-Blye and I'm 7 years old. I wrote an essay about my hero. My hero isn't actually a hero but a heroine. Her name was Kensi Marie Blye and she was my mother."

* * *

**Okay so I was wondering if i should acutally write taht essay about Kensi. And since I couldn't find an answer, it's up to you all. Should I write it or not?  
Just let me know ;)  
Linds**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys =) I know it has been some time since I've updated, but I blame my final exams for that. BUT they are over now and I have enough time to write again, before I move to the US :) Totally excited!**

Anyway I hop you like it. 

* * *

It was Friday night and as every Friday the team had come over for some family dinner.

"Grandma can you tell me a bedtime story this time?" Sophia asked sleepily from her place on Nell's lap.

"Of course my dear."

Sophia climbed off of Nell's lap and ran to Deeks hugging him.

"Good night daddy. Love you." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Good night princess. Love you too."

He smiled at her and put a kiss on her forehead. Sophia ran to each family member and said them good night. The team heard Sophia ask Hetty if she could tell her the story in which Deeks and Kensi went undercover as a married couple.

That was of course before they 'married' in real life. Deeks still felt guilty sometimes that they pretended that he and Kensi actually got married. But he always believed that Kensi would want them to act in Sophia's best interests.

And that was what they did. By faking thir marriage Hetty made sure that he and Sophia have enough support from NCIS.

Deeks got up and started to gather dirty plates. Refusing help form anyone, saying they can just relax in the living room, he started to put the dishes in the dishwasher and to clean the kitchen a bit.

Before returning to the living room re opened the fridge and took some beers out. When he entered the living room Hetty was surrounded by the others. They were reading something and didn't even bother to look up when he placed the beer on the coffee table.

Hetty was the first one to look at him.

"When were you planning on telling us?"

Deeks was confused. He took a look at the paper that the others still read. Recognizing Sophias scrawl he looked back at Hetty. It was Sophia's essay about her hero.

"Uh...well.. I don't know but I would have told you someday..." He mumbled quietly.

"It is so cute and sad at the same time." Nell sniffed.

"I know. I'm gonna keep it in that box with all her presents and pictures that she has drawn."

The next morning he took Sophia and Monty to the beach for a long walk. He wanted to talk about them moving into a new house.

"NO WAY DADDY! I don't want to move, mom once lived there and she used all the stuff. It was moms apartment. I wanna stay there, it makes me feel closer to her knowing that she once went the same path that we do everyday when we go from the kitchen to the living room. Please daddy!"

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. It broke his heart to see her like this. He didn't meant to hurt her. Heck, he never knew that Kensi's apartment meant so much to his little princess.

"Hey princess come here." He held his arms out and she flung herself at him. "Shhh, it's okay. We won't move if you don't want to." Deeks stroked her back. "I just thought that maybe your nightmares would vanish in a new house."

Sophia looked up at him with big eyes. "I don't mind the nightmares as long as we stay."

"Okay honey. We'll stay." He kissed her forehead.

* * *

She was exhausted. Mark was gone again and she has spent the whole day working out in the garden. She was getting stronger and it got more difficult to let Mark think otherwise.

Wherever she was, it was getting colder now. Colder than it would have been in LA. So she figured that she must be somewhere in the North.

After a hot shower she made herself some dinner. While eating she thought about her family. She wondered, not for the first time, who was Deeks new partner. Was she pretty? Had they a 'thing'? Maybe it wasn't even a she, but she was still jealous and angry.

It was dark night by now and as she looked out in the night she swore that she would escape soon.

* * *

He dropped Sophia off at school and continued to drive to work. He would get a new partner...again!

Deeks didn't know why Hetty bothered to give him a new one. All the other ones resigned after a couple of weeks. He did do his job to look out for them, but he wasn't exactly friendly to them nor did he offer to spent time outside of work with them to get to know them better.

Callen and Sam tried to make the first couple of Agents understand his situation. Maybe they thought they would stay longer then, but they didn't.

He didn't want another partner. His one and only partner was gone and even though he knew that he needed someone to look out for him he didn't want it. Some of the Agents even tried to hit on  
him. He totally lost it every time. That's why he started to wear the wedding band. And it worked.

"Hey guys." He said as he trotted into the bullpen. "My new partner here yet?"

"Nope." Sam answered without looking up from the newspaper he was reading.

Deeks just sat down when a tall blond woman walked in and looked at them.

"Hi. I'm Agent Dearing and I'm your new team member."

* * *

**Next chapter will be Kensi's attempt to escape =)  
Hope you liked this one,  
Linds**


	4. AUTHORS NOTE

Hey everyone. I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I moved to the US and it was a stressful time. And I haven't earned enough money yet to buy a new laptop since my old one broke. So as soon as I have a new computer I'll update. I promise. Hang in there guys ;)

Linds


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